What Would Jah Do?

A few years ago, evangelical christians developed a series of books called "What Would Jesus Do?" The books (d)evolved into bracelets, necklaces, keychains, t-shirt and other ephemera emblazoned with the initials "WWJD?" That phenomenon led to another series of books called "What Would Buddah Do?" and subsequent "WWBD?" merchandise. The logical extension then, to ride out the wave of popular support for this type of thing, is to look for other religions to exploit / support. With millions of devoted adherents all over the Western Hemisphere and Europe, Rastafarianism fits the bill.

If t'ings no be feelin' Irie mon, ya gotta ask, "Wot fe JAH do, mon?" den get set ta feel da fiyah of H.I.M. love.

Why does my life feel so empty and meaningless?
~C.J. in Humbolt, CA

When life be bland fa ya, ye gotta spice t'ings up, mon. Spice it up wit da 'erb mon. Through the Guiding Hand of da Most High JAH RASTAFARI all Goodness Flows! Smoka de ganja and yell be feelin' Irie.

Dear God, What can I do to stop my college induced binge drinking?
~Bob in San Diego, CA

Come InI know ya feelin' quite low, but ye past up de spliff mon. Dat no sensable t'ing to do. Next time, ye take de Ital 'erb and ye gwan ta be betta den dis mon. Jus smoka de ganja and yell be feelin' Irie from the Rising of the Sun to the Shining of the Moon! All within His Imperial Majesty's Dominion they follow his Ivery directive and command, so as it so with InI FAITHFUL Sons & Dawtas of the Irator of Iration! Jah of the Whole Iniverse, smoka de ganja and yell be feelin' Irie!