Freaks when he Asks Questions

Are you curious or just questionable?

We've been inundated with a cavalcade of curiosity, so to minimize time spent on redundancy, we've set up this little Frequently Asked Questions, FAQ for Louis Questions.

Are you single?

With my busy bunny-type schedule, I don't have much time for a deep or serious relationship. I'm much more prone to deeply shallow relationships, would you like to add your name to the waiting list?

Is it true that you had an affair with the Foreign Correspondent?

Why do these rumours persist? WE ARE JUST FRIENDS! For the last time; I never had sexual relations with that puppet, or any other inappropriate relations with him. He was just an intern in my department before getting the gig at pets.com. Besides, I have much better taste, I mean, he's kind of a dog.

Where did you go to college and what was your major?

I went to Coachella College. I went there to major in Botany. They have a world famous carrot festival in the Coachella Valley. It has the best Botany program on the planet because a 500 year old botanist crash landed in Southern California and became a professor there. Here's a picture of me and him together. I've always loved technology too and I switched my major to computer sciences my freshman year and minored in Botany.

We know you met Q in Toy's R Us, how did you end up there?

I met a guy called Shaggy in the Botany department at college. After we graduated, I hung out with him and his pals... There were five of us, mostly living in Fred's van. We would just stumble upon various capers and schemes and invariably solve loads of mysteries.... Actually, I almost became a detective because of those experiences. They were happy times for me. Shaggy was a really good cook and grew all his own herbs. Fred, Daphne, and I used to share our scarves and wear really big bows... OK so I still do, so some things never change. They were always good for a chuckle, but it just got to be too much. We were in Toy's R Us investigating a mysterious apparition and our friend Velma lost her glasses (again!) Daphne and Fred were missing (probably off snogging somewhere.) and Shaggy was off with his dog. He had just gotten a puppy and was spending a lot of time teaching him how to talk and eat quadruple decked sandwiches and stuff. When Q said, "I can take you away from all of that, if you come and work for me." He promised there wouldn't be any ghosts, ghouls, or creatures, and I hopped at the chance. We've been working together ever since.

Is it true you used to be a porn star?

No, people think that because I've never owned or worn pants or trousers that I must be some kind of perv. I WAS an extra in a couple of films oriented to an adult audience (Good Will Humping, Bi-Tanic 2, and Mantasy Island)