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Predictions and Pre-Show Antics
My British pal, Rob got to attend this year's contest live
in Riga, Latvia. "I quite like the german song but I
think Russia will win if they manage to sing and perform well
live." Rob wrote as he was off to Latvia.
"I Slept almost the whole flight to Stockholm ate a
bit on the connecting flight to Riga and hey presto! Riga
we've arrived! We were met by our guide Jana who was a tall,
blond, Miss World looka alike. She was wearing black trousers
so tight you could see what she had for breakfast. It took
me all of five seconds to realise that the whole country is
populated by good looking tall people - they must deport the
short ugly ones. I was beginning to feel like Quasimodo with
my tufty black hair and scars on my skull and visible bolt
mark on my forehead. Oh sod it - I looked different from the
crowd that`s all! At least I would stand out in a crowd. Limo
took us both on a short sightseeing tour. Row upon row of
ugly apartment blocks and armed police every hundred yards
- then into the stunning old city. Oh this was something else
- just stunningly beautiful and flowers growing everywhere
- but still police every hundred yards. I was desperate to
get arrested - such good looking blokes and uniforms to boot!
Got to the hotel the Grand Palace - early supper. Quick change
into suits, remembering union jack flags and finally off to
the venue..."
 The
Show Report
Rob sent me a review from Riga, "We had the best seats
possible - just three rows back from the stage. The atmosphere
was electric - 10,000 people all flag waving and cheering
to the warm up act. Bob got the beers in as I read the programme
-he came back with a portable keg of beer -and two plastic
beakers - I was impressed. That should keep us going for a
while. Then before we had time to laugh at the warm up act
doing something with a stuffed parrot - it all started.
"Fantastic swirling set and staging, the lighting effects
were truly amazing and even the stage floor was a huge megatron
videoscreen and each panel could be lit independently. F**king
amazing.
"Iceland were the first on - and sang such a
belter of a song that I was convinced that we had just heard
the winner.
"Austria were next with a chap who was the village
idiot and sang in a monotone with two girl backing singers
that looked as if they had fallen off the Christmas tree twenty
years ago. If there was anything melodic about this song it
was lost on me. Surely a `nul` point for Austria.
"Ireland were next and once again it became apparent
that this was going to be a contest where the backing singers
were trying to upstage the main vocalist. By the end of the
song I was sick to death of them. Get off the stage and back
to the MacDonalds store where they belong. Pity cos the boy
lead singer was rather cute.
"Well if I thought Ireland`s backing singers were a
pain - I spoke too soon as Turkey was up next and boy
were we in for a treat - sung in English thank goodness and
5 belly dancers and an agressive performance with a damm fine
show from a fiery Turkish lady with two 40 feet pieces of
pink ribbon coming off her dress which the backing belly dancers
kept artistically kept getting wrapped up in. The song finished
on some dynamic belly gyrating and lifted the roof off the
Hall - it went BIG.
"Then I switched off for a while - but came to with
Song 10 and Germany - they're always good for a laugh.
A wonderful lady with shocking orange hair, a menacing face
and a full set of teeth that would put Jaws to shame and lyrics
that said `Let`s be Happy, Let`s be gay` and a performance
that took advantage of the excellent lighting both from above
and below the stage.
"Next Russia and what I was waiting for - the
sapphic duo of TaTu - what on earth would these little minxes
get up to. They had been threatened all week with disqulaification
if they came across too obscene. They belted their hearts
out and used the whole of the stage but sadly, if anything,
they were good girls and did as they were told and except
for a bit of hand holding a quick peck it was a performance
by the rule book - it looked as if Russia were on to deservedly
win the competition.
"Another boring bit as we went through a few more mundane
songs with the Israeli singers keep removing their
tops and strutting the Israeli sideways dance routine - far
too chereographed I was getting dizzy.
"United Kingdom came on to a huge cheer - the
Union Jacks were in full abundance - but the performance was
cringingly awful and sang for the most part out of tune -
not even the shortest of dresses and the best legs in the
contest could save this one. DREDFUL!
"Only ten more songs to go. Bob had almost passed out
at this stage so went off for another keg of beer to get us
through the rest of the songs. Poland brightened things
up a bit - they had a chap with so many piercings and nuts
and bolts in his face and a very pretty girl. For some reason,
he spent most of the song running away from.
"Latvia got a huge standing ovation and oh goodness
no - could it be another win for Latvia? Fingers crossed it's
not the case.
"Belgium up next and rather than sing in one
of Belgium`s four languages they sang in a made up language
with added hand signing in a folksy song that was practically
painful to watch especially as the girls were dressed in granny`s
curtains.
"Thank goodness Sweden were the last song but
one - always good as every Swedish song since Abba won sounds
like an Abba imitation - that was 25 years ago - and they
still haven`t got the message - move on dears!....
"Finaly, the last song came from Slovenia and
quite a sweet ditty.
The Vote's Pour In
"We enjoyed a short break before the voting began. The
voting really makes the enigma that Eurovision has become.
Political voting, sometimes you wonder if some countries were
watching the same song as me - this year was to be no different.
"The village idiot from Austria and the Belgian grannies
were getting votes. If Austria or Belgium won I might just
have to escape to Mars myself.
Regional Politics Won Out to Start
"Greece gave maximum points to Cyprus and vice versa.
The Scandinavians voted all the top marks amongst theirselves
- so what`s new. Halfway through the voting it was still an
open contest. Belgium, Austria, Turkey, Poland and Russia
were all doing very well. As was my favourite Iceland.
Short-listed Down to the Wire
"It was close voting and if I could chew on my fingernails
I would have done. By the time the last country Slovenia voted
- it was down to a three horse race between Russia, Belgium
and Turkey.
Winner Announced
The whole hall was in such held breath anticipation down
right to the end and Turkey got the maximum 12 points for
a well deserved win. So we`ll be off to Istanbul for next
year's contest!! The belly dancers did it! Totally unexpected
- but a good victory.
Sad Highlights of This Year's Contest
Just a pity that Russia and the lesbian duo didn`t pull it
off - but that is Eurovision for you. Oh
and the UK - for the very first time `nul points` - our worst
placing ever in 48 years. Might help if we sent someone
who can sing as oppossed to just looking good.
What a Party!
Then it was party time in Riga. The whole city was out and
about - and no one was sleeping before dawn. These Latvians
certainly know how to party. Stalls selling baby Cornish pasty
type things filled with minced pork and onions, vats of vodka
and kegs of beer everywhere. We got all of three hours sleep
before getting picked up to go back to the airport and the
SAS flight home - all over for now- until we do the same thing
next year! Take care, Rob"
Cheers Rob! Looking forward to your next adventure!
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